Questions & Answers

I am hoping that when you wrote that your husband was giving attention to pornography, this indicates that his sinful behavior pattern is a thing of the past or at least that there has been some measure of remedy already applied. Pornography use and addiction is a horrible and destructive kind of sin. You—and your husband—have my sympathy and my prayer that things will change fast if they haven't already.

You ask if the use of pornography is a form of adultery. While there are exceptions (e.g., law enforcement or legal representatives examining items to determine what is or is not illegal), generally speaking it is adultery in the eyes of God. It is the kind of sin that Jesus emphasizes in passages like Matthew 5:27-28, that is, adultery in the heart. God is interested in our thoughts and words as well as outward actions.

You also ask if this sin is grounds for a divorce. It might be, but is not necessarily so. More information about your husband's attitude, motives—toward you as well as toward the pornography—needs to be examined. If divorce were granted on the basis of all sins of the heart (parallel to hatred being murder as explained in Matthew 5:21-22), few marriages would endure because all of us are guilty on a daily basis. So I must repeat, your husband's sinful activity might be expressive of attitudes and a hardness of heart that would be tantamount to a breaking of the marriage vow and a callous disregard for the marriage bond. But it might not be. You deserve and should receive competent pastoral counseling. Ditto for your husband, the sooner the better.

Until more information is known, my counsel would be that you seek to help and rehabilitate your husband in love as long as you can. Be an agent of preserving and enriching your marriage rather than someone seeking to end it. May the Lord guide and bless you as you sort these things out!