Questions & Answers

Many people who are afflicted with addictions and mental health issues struggle with the same spiritual struggle that you describe going on within yourself. The key question is the one that you ask, "Am I really forgiven in view of all the ‘ifs’ connected with my affliction? This cross is so great because I can’t seem to find any comfort as I struggle with it.”

But the fact that you are not alone in this struggle is of little comfort because it is your personal anxiety and doubts about this issue with which you are wrestling. How do you find comfort?

In general, I would suggest that you think about your affliction as both sin and disease. Let me explain that in much more detail. You have a body. You have a soul. You have an emotional make-up that is a part of your mind. One really cannot be separated from the other. If you separate your soul from your body – we call that death. You cannot exist without both a mind and body and a soul. There is a physical part of you, a spiritual part of you, and a rational and emotional part of you.

You live in a culture and in a society that has labeled what you have as a mental illness – a disease. Yet it is a mental disease that impacts your body and your soul. You have an eating disorder which is dangerous to your body, and you injure yourself in some way, hurting your body. As a child of God you feel guilty about hurting yourself in both ways. God says to us: I Corinthians 6:19-20, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

I pray that you will examine the words of the above passage carefully. We all understand the Law part of that statement – “…your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…” (coupled with) …. “Therefore honor God with your body.” But it is important for us to understand the reason why we are temples of the Holy Spirit. “…the Holy Spirit…whom you have received from God…You are not your own. You were bought at a price.” You are the temple of the Holy Spirit because of God’s grace and mercy that bought you with the price of the blood of Jesus Christ and made you a child of God by the power of the Holy Spirit through the Gospel in Word and Sacraments. II Corinthians 5:19, “God was reconciling the world unto himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them.” You are not an exception. You are a part of the world for whom Christ died. God chose to make you his child. You are a blood-bought child of your God who loves you. Galatians 3:26-27, “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” “You are not your own. You were bought at a price.” This is God’s love for you.

It is important for us to remember that God defines what is sinful and what is not sinful. Since it bothers your conscience and makes you feel guilty before God when you fall into practicing your eating disorder or hurting your body, this is something you can take before the throne of God’s grace in prayer and ask him for forgiveness. As you rejoice in God’s forgiveness, you are strengthened by the Gospel of Christ. Philippians 4:13, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” You can strive all the more with God’s strength in you to “honor God with your body.”

What defines you as a person is who you are. You are a child of God. You have different roles in life. For example, perhaps you are a son or a daughter, student or teacher, employee or employer. Things may go wrong in one or two or all of those roles. But those wrong things that happen in this sinful world and in the roles that you have do not change who you are. You are God’s child. That fact that you are God’s child is the result of God’s gracious work within you. “You are bought at a price.”

In Romans, chapter 7, St. Paul wrestled with his sin. He says that he continues to do the sin that he does not want to do. He even says, vs. 24, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” This sort of sounds like you, doesn’t it? But then he adds, vs. 25, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.” He sums up his situation with the words, vs. 25, “So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.” That is the way you describe yourself. You want to do what is right and yet, your affliction keeps getting you to do what is wrong. Continue reading Romans chapter 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” You are God’s child. Christ Jesus is your eternal Savior. Be assured that there is nothing in all creation that can separate you from God’s love (Romans 8:31-39).

Let the love of God in Christ give you the assurance of your forgiveness. It is not the fact that you enumerate your sins or that you can guarantee that you will never commit that sin again that gives you the assurance of your forgiveness. Paul would have never had the assurance of his forgiveness based upon his never sinning a certain way again. He knew the reality of his sinful condition. So do you know the reality of your sinful condition. It is God’s gracious love for you that assures you of his forgiveness. Trust in his love and strength for your confidence in his forgiveness.

Confident and rejoicing in that forgiveness, seek help from mental health professionals and physicians for your disease. There is much good evidence-based therapy to help you. Be strong in your Lord who loves you as his child! May he give you peace and help!

The clearly consistent pattern we find in the Bible is the privilege and responsibility to appraise all religious views that we come into contact with and then to respond to those views by speaking the truth in love. When we find that the religious views of others are in agreement with the Bible message (especially when they are centered in Christ and his work, faithfully pointing sinners to God's gracious pardon of sinners based totally on Christ's work), then we rejoice and affirm the truth. However, when we find that the religious views of others involve departures or denials of Bible truths, we are to expose the errors as errors and lovingly warn the people of the dangers of falsehood. And when we examine and discover that someone's religious views are a combination of truth and error, we affirm and rejoice in the truth but then identify and expose the error at the same time. The goal is always to strive, in love, to serve the religious needs of others by pointing them to God's truth and warning them against departures from God's truth.

You use the words "mock" and "bash." These are not the kind of words that describe what a child of God does in love to serve souls. Mockery and ridicule do not build people up and do not communicate love. You also use the word "judge." Of course we judge religious teachings in the sense that we appraise them and approve of them (to the degree that they faithfully echo what the Bible teaches) or reject them (to the degree that they deny or depart from Bible truth). God urges to "judge" doctrine and religious practice in that sense. But we are not to "judge" lovelessly or hypocritically, with an attitude of superiority or arrogance, thinking that we are better people. We desire to give God glory and serve souls, not to glorify ourselves at the expense of others or somehow to give the impression that we are more worthy than others. Let us speak the truth in love and in that way serve fellow sinners by pointing them to the gracious Lord who through Christ has provided salvation for us all.

I sympathize with your friend as she wrestles with this decision, and I sympathize with you as you seek the best way to counsel and encourage your friend. What I am not able to do is offer you a "yes" or "no" kind of answer about seeking medical treatment or not allowing such treatment. Before that kind of answer can be given, a lot more information needs to be known about the person, more detailed information on her medical condition, her motives, and her spiritual condition (that is, her maturity of faith) and familiarity with biblical principles that touch on this subject.

By refusing to give a "yes" or "no" answer I am already indicating that the Bible does not demand one answer or the other in all circumstances. It is not always sinful to refuse medical treatment and not necessarily always right to seek it. In general we are to leave the matter of living and dying in the Lord's hands and do all that we can to preserve life and health. That is a dominant principle in the Bible. But it is not the only principle or concern. When there are two or more principles that potentially conflict with each other, we face what is sometimes called a case of casuistry. We have to identify the applicable principles, prioritize them when possible, and apply them in priority order. (An example would be the unpleasant task of taking driving privileges away from an aging parent who has become a danger to himself and others but still insists on driving, when the competing principle of honoring and obeying parents remains in force.)

In severe and often life-and-death medical decisions various principles may be in competition. To choose to live as long as possible through medical treatment may be an option, but one that greatly diminishes the quality of the life that is prolonged. It also might involve a denial of what God has been revealing through prior diagnoses (namely, it is likely a time to prepare for death rather than extend life) and might touch on financial stewardship issues because of exorbitant costs, etc. Always key issues will be motives, reasonable expectations (but what is reasonable may be subjective and variable in various circumstances), and the person's conscience (which should not be violated).

The use of God-fearing and patient-loving counsel is highly recommended. Let the pastor, friends, and family that are close to your friend offer counsel and rationale. Continue strong in prayers and intercessions. And when a decision is reached by your friend, be supportive and avoid unnecessary second-guessing. Since the Bible allows for different answers to the question, we may do the same.

An appropriate starting place is to allow Scripture to determine whether drinking alcoholic beverages is a sin or if it is something neither commanded nor forbidden, that is, a matter of Christian freedom.

This particular point is not difficult to determine. There is no prohibition in the Bible that declares drinking a sin in and of itself. It would be spiritual arrogance and rank legalism to declare something sinful when the Bible has not done so. And there are quite a few passages that speak of a proper and pleasing use of alcoholic beverages. Whether it be general passages like Proverbs 9:1-5, or Isaiah 55:1, or examples like Christ's miracle in Cana (John 2:1-11), or Christ's use of wine in the Last Supper and while instituting the Lord's Supper, or Paul's fatherly advice to Timothy (1 Timothy 5:23), the legitimate and proper use of alcoholic drinks is clearly established. It is a matter of Christian freedom, and we have no right to bind another's conscience on this point.

It is precisely because it is a matter of Christian freedom, neither right nor wrong in itself, that Paul's words in Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 come into the picture here. The freedom to drink wine, for example, implies the freedom to refrain from doing so when it best serves our Christian purposes. In all matters of Christian freedom we need to ask if our doing something (or not doing something) is wise and beneficial, or potentially a cause for a weaker brother or sister to stumble spiritually (that is, to spiritually "offend" another believer). It may also become a point of Christian confession, something that needs to be done or not done to establish or testify to the truth of Scripture.

You must apply these Bible truths and principles to your specific situation in your home and with your husband. I do not know your husband, his level of spiritual maturity and Bible knowledge, or his temperament and personality. So I can only mention possible scenarios. Your pastor, who knows you and the situation better, should be consulted.

If your husband is spiritually weak and immature and for that reason squeamish and spiritually touchy on the topic of drinking alcohol, your privilege is to refrain from drinking your wine in his presence, and educate and seek to give him spiritual insight and growth until he recognizes that your proper use (never abuse) of alcohol is a matter of Christian freedom. This is Christian love in action, seeking what is best for a fellow believer and also seeking to have the Bible firmly at the center of declaring what is right, wrong, or a matter of freedom.

There are other possibilities, of course, and only someone more familiar with you, your husband, and the situation, would be qualified to say much more.