After a loved one is gone, spiritual and physical changes may be symptoms of depression. Jesus and Christian friends can help.

I stopped to visit after her husband died. As on other "comfort" calls, I asked the usual questions to see how she was doing. Soon she began to ask me questions: "Pastor, why all the questions? Why are you asking me about my appetite or how I'm sleeping? Does one's appetite or sleep have anything to do with grief?"

Depression

According to experts, another step in grieving is depression. Although it may not be a severe depression requiring a visit to a doctor, grieving can bring on feelings of despair, a resignation to give up on life, or a prolonged interruption of normal daily activities such as eating and sleeping. When someone has experienced loss, life changes drastically, including daily routines, social networking, and bodily functions. How we handle those changes physically on the outside can indicate how we are doing emotionally and spiritually on the inside.

Reaching out for help

So how do you handle this step of grieving? If you are not eating or sleeping as well as you ought, you might require help from your family doctor, including determining whether or not you might be experiencing severe depression. Don't be afraid to reach out to loved ones who know you well and ask them if they've noticed any changes. Or better yet, talk to a good Christian friend who's gone through the same loss you have experienced. He or she can understand better than most what you are going through, and his or her experiences can help you deal with your grief.

But after seeking help in getting back to daily routines and necessary activities, don't overlook the help you will need spiritually. As with all steps of grief, you can turn to Jesus in your dark hours. Consider the spiritual help the Lord provided the writer of the book of Lamentations. He had witnessed the destruction of Jerusalem. Death was all around. There seemed to be no future. But the Lord's mercies helped him deal with such feelings of despair. "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD'S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD" (3:21-26).