I didn't find the meaning of life before I came to Divine Word church. I used to refuse to go to school during high school because I didn't know what the meaning of life was and why I should study. I thought I lived for my family, but I was hurt by family members, and I felt hopeless at that moment. What's the meaning of life? This is a question I had been asking for many years. I was busy with life every day after I grew up, and I did a good job, but I didn't have the root of life. I only did what I should do according to the social standard.

The first summer after we came [to Canada], I brought my son to Divine Word church for vacation Bible school. Then I started to know Christianity. I was crying in heart when Pastor explained how Lord love human beings. I found the truth of life.

The same year my son and I got baptized. Most time of the following three years, I felt confident being God's kid, but sometimes I felt I'm in superstition. For this I felt guilty all the time. Now I know the relationship between God and me is Dad and kid. God love me only because of this relationship. The Lord guides me according to his plan, no matter how much I doubt, how much I can understand.

FAMILY CHANGES

When my son was 12 to 13 years old, we lost our control on him. The most serious thing I remembered is that he sleep over three days at a classmate's home. Gang [Zhongmei's husband] and me felt worried, and we were not able to call him back home. We complained to each other and quarreled badly. What a painful life! At that time I didn't know Lord much, only felt a big stone on my heart. Lord work in his own way. My son went to Michigan Lutheran Seminary for high school five months ago. We wouldn't let him leave home so early if we didn't experience so much hard time about family. He was back home this Christmas holiday and seemed to be changed to another boy. He has firm faith. He is more kindly and reasonable. He is friendlier, and we are all touched by the close relationship between him and us. Gang said, "I'm very satisfied with Jim." This is a nice evaluation for Lord's work.

Gang's parents came to visit us and stayed here for one year. We got along so well; Gang compliment me for the good job. I said, "It's not me; it's God who work in my heart!" They are 80 and 74 years old, and they both got the eternal life before they left. What a wonderful gift!  Parents-in-law help me feel peace so much, like blue sky in my heart, no matter what kind of situation I face. A Chinese saying is "It's hard to get peace in life." Now I have firm peace in heart.